im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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