this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
