yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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