Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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