I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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