Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
