i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
