we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
