whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
