my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
