my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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