I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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