Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
