i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
