Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm determined to sit on that face.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
