HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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