his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
