so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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