I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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