So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
