i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
