You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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