Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
