i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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