If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
