turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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