Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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