ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
