I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
