I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
