i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
