Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
