ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
