Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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