Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
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I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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