I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
