This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
