if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
