oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
