I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
