that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
