I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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