If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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