I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
