So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
