I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize