after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize