She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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