Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
