Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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