I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
