bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
