I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
