some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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