Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want her autograph on my taint
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
