Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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