the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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