I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
