My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
