I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
