i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
