I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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