you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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