I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
