i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
